Senin, 30 Maret 2015

Going to the Chapel...

Back in September some of you may remember when I almost didn't attend the dress fitting for a wedding I had be invited to be a bridesmaid in because I was SO nervous & insecure about being seen with my arms & legs exposed (which I still never show) in the teeny-weeny little bridesmaid dress the bride had picked out for us. I came to you all on this blog asking for your advice about whether I should go or not, you kicked me in the bum and told me to get over myself and go, I went, and was glad I did.

Well, the wedding was this past weekend and since the time I tried on the dress at the bridal shop I've lost 25lbs which led to quite the crisis when I (stupidly!) waited to try on my dress until the night before the wedding and discovered that the even though I bought the dress SUPER tight because I was planning to lose weight before the wedding, it was still at least a full size too big! All I can say is, thank you safety pins! Wanna see some before and & after pics in the dress?
Before (September 2010)
After (March 2011)

I don't think I can even explain what this wedding did for me. It was probably one of the most impactful events in my journey of weight loss thus far.

This weekend I:
  • FINALLY, finally, FINALLY began to see that my body really has changed in these last 85lbs. Because I've pretty much always been naive about what my body really looks like (even when I weighed 352lbs), I likewise don't always see the positive changes that are happening and still picture myself sometimes as though I haven't changed at all. Seeing pictures from this weekend has finally begun to change that & it is a very crazy amazing thing.
  • Felt free enough to just be me in the body that I have right now. I was pushed wayyyy outside my comfort zone even now in showing my legs and upper arms but at some point I just decided to refuse to allow the specialness of the weekend to be overshadowed by insecurities caused by things that aren't going to change in a weekend (my arms/legs) and just enjoy the moment. I can't even express how liberating it was to forget that I weighed about 100lbs more than every other bridesmaid and just have fun.
  • Have had at least 10 people send me messages on facebook saying how great I look or asking what I'm doing to lose weight since posting pics from the wedding. This truly has flabergasted me as it literally hasn't been until this wedding that A LOT of people have noticed the change, even though I've been on this journey for over a year- it was seriously as if they thought it happened overnight or something (I wish!! haha). This encouragement really couldn't come at a better time as I haven't been necessarily seeing the weight loss #'s that I would like.
I'm finally beginning to appreciate the work that I've put in so far to my body and ready to see how much further I'll come when I'm in my best friends wedding this coming August; this wedding will undoubtedly be the most important wedding to me (other than my own obviously) and I really just want to be able to completely not focus at all on my body that day but on my bff. We have already picked the dress out and it's going to be the same story as the dress I just wore- short and sleeveless- and I plan to be more than ready. My goal is to be at least 40 pounds lighter than I am now (so in the 220's) at her wedding.

I would just like to thank those of you who encouraged me to go to the dress fitting- I don't think I would have gone without your encouragement.

**P.S- I haven't gotten a chance to visit the blogs of you amazing readers who introduced yourself a few posts ago but I am greatly looking forward to getting to know you better and checking out your journeys by the end of the week!**