Wanna know what it says? "You can't do this- not for the long haul at least."
Ok well I'm not really hearing voices but I might as well be; multiple times throughout the last week I keep feeling afraid that the success that I've had so far won't last and that I will give up sooner or later. What is up with that?
I've given it a lot of thought and I think this is why I've been hearing that voice:
- I'm in the "middle phase" of this journey. At the beginning there is a lot of excitement and lots of new things to learn about but then you move past the motivation and begin to get into the "just do it" mode. I'm guessing that I need to be more excited that this is becoming second nature to me and not feeling like such drastic changes.
- I have gotten thrown out of my workout routine. Working out makes me feel accomplished and strong; it gives me goals and allows me to visibly see progress that I'm making. I know that I could be working out at home but being that I live with 3 roomates I am usually not too keen on shaking my booty to a work out DVD in front of them (especially my guy roomie!) It looks like the snow will be subsiding a bit this weekend so I will be happy to make it 2 or 3 times this weekend.
- I'm afraid. To be honest, when I began this journey, even though I had the best of intentions and wanted to do well, I really wasn't sure how it would go. The most weight I had ever lost before was like 12lbs or something- and I've lost 33lbs so far. It's a bit scarey to succeed because I think in the back of my mind I wonder if this is going to stop, if one day I will just give up, even though there is NOTHING inside of me that wants to.
You know what I have found to be one of the most ironic parts of weight loss? Is that people (including myself) dont' realize that the power of whether we succeed or fail is in the hands of one person- ourselves. So often, even though it is most likely subconsciously, we subscribe to the belief that things like our circumstances or fate is the thing that really determines whether we are successful or not. I've thought about it and I can come up with no other explanation for this other than that people are afraid to truly take FULL control over their temptations, cravings, and decisions because that will also mean they have to take FULL RESPONSIBILITY when they simply chose to ignore the good voice in their head that says to respect themselves and do what is right.
I hope I'm not sounding to harsh and I hope that I don't hurt anyone's feelings when I say this but I can't tell you how many blogs I read a day (and I'm sure you do to) where bloggers are writing about how they just went on a weekend long eating binge (for the 2nd time that month) and they see yet another gain and they feel horrible and will try better next time. And whether I get slack for this or not I've just gotta say that the only person that is causing that to become a pattern is that person! Believe me, I weighed 352lbs a few months ago and still weigh over 300 and I deal with the SAME temptations as anyone else does, but the time has to come where you tell yourself NO to food so that you can tell yourself YES to living a healthy life that you deserve.
I am NOT trying to be condescending but I truly care about this blogging community and I want to see everyone succeed! I understand how hard it is to say no to temptation or to get up off the couch and excercise, but I also know how much it SUCKS to be overweight.
Silence that voice in your mind after you've come off a weekend long binge that says you'll never be able to stop binging or that you'll never be successful- silence it with action! I refuse to listen to that same voice that's been telling me that sooner or later I'll give up because in reality, MY VOICE is the only one that matters for me in this journey.
A little tip that I could share for helping to say no to temptation or yes to working out is this 2 word phrase that I am CONSTANTLY telling myself when I'm playing with the idea of eating something I shouldn't or watching tv instead of going to the gym- the phrase is: NO CHOICE.
For me, NO CHOICE means that I'm not even going to toy with the idea of doing that unhealthy thing- the "maybe" factor has been removed for me and I not even allowing myself the ability to chose that unhealthy option. Just the other day I was walking by the cabinet that my office keeps snacks in and I saw a Reese's Peanut Butter cup that I really really realllyyyyy wanted; I even picked it up and unwrapped it and just before I was about to take a bite and remembered...NO CHOICE and I crumpled it up in my hand (yuck!) and threw it away. Now obviously that 90 cal treat wouldn't have ruined my weight but it was a matter of principle- that I didn't need it and I was really just eating it becasue it was there. It definitely wouldn't have constituted a step forward and since that is the direction I'm wanting to go- I just said no.
I realize that this is difficult and let me just set the record straight by saying: I AM BY NO MEANS PERFECT or have even fully grasped this concept- I just want to share some things I'm learning along the way and hopefully share some of the tools that I've picked so far to help me resist tempation so that we can all succeed in this together!
Still love me? :)
I did want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone for all of your vegetable suggestions on yesterday's post! Wow- what a wealth of knowledge you all are! Now, I know that it is a baby step and by no means the "best" way to go but look what I picked up at the grocery store yesterday! 
I'm excited to get cookin- I'll be sure to show you guys the results!
MAKE today one that you are proud of!