Minggu, 30 Agustus 2015

Days #237- #241: A Woman Scorned.

I was ticked off all day yesterday.



Why? Because for the last 2 weeks my weight has remained exactly the same despite any changes that I've made in my eating- no matter what every time I stand on the scale it reads 298lbs which definitely frusterates me but hey- I'm level headed in knowing that at least I'm not gaining.



WELL- yesterday morning I stepped on the scale hoping to see a little piece of encouragement from my flawless eating from the day before and what did I see? 301!?!?! How the FRICK do I gain 3lbs when I've been trying harder in the last week then I have in the last 3 months of not gaining/losing anything!!?



Up until yesterday I had never been able to relate to bloggers who have written about being so emotionally thrown by the scale but boy did I feel it yesterday! I was SO mad when I saw that # yesterday- it's like the scale was telling me: "Nope, sorry- you're done losing weight- no matter how hard you try I'm not going to let you!"



And I fell face forward into the trap that SO many have talked about but I had never fallen into myself prior to yesterday- I ate out of anger for the lack of results.



I ate an okay breakfast and had lunch over at a friends but when I came home only a few hours later I ate perogies and a bowl of cereal just because I wanted to- then I had a large icee when i went to the movies and followed it up with a burger and fries for dinner! I was seriously SO mad that even though it doesn't make any sense I felt like I was somehow punishing "someone" and making "whoever" pay for makign me "suffer" in eating healthy and not getting results- all the while not being rational and realizing that the only person I am punishing when I do that is MYSELF.



Needless to say I woke up today with a "food hangover" of sorts and am needing to detox from the sugar, grease, and fat I ingested yesterday. I know all of the reasons that could explain WHY I gained those 3lbs (sodium, T.O.M., etc.) but it all just feels like a cop out to me. I think the most possible rational explanation is that I have hit some sort of plateu and since I'm not working out right now I can't get away with the amount of slack that I've given myself in the past with eating.



I KNOW WHAT I WANT and I will do WHATEVER it takes to ACHIEVE MY GOAL.



I know that this includes continuing to count all of my calories (which I've been doing recently), cut down on the carbs a bit, continue to drink water like I'm a fish (wait- do fish drink water? lol), and also begin to exercise again (this is going to take some more thought/discussion).



Ahhhh- I know this will be worth all of the frusteration and slip ups in the end- just gotta keep moving forward.



To end on a positive note- here is a pic I snapped of me wearing my new favorite shirt! It is originally from Lane Bryant (I saw it there but didn't get it because it was $40) but I picked it up at Gabriel Brothers last weekend for $8! The coolest part? It is an 18/20- I used to wear at least a 22/24 and sometimes a 26/28 in shirts there :)

Ahh- I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous for what Wednesday's weigh in will bring as far as the # on the scale, but I know ONE THING- I will keep on going 100% regardless of what it says!

Peace ya'll!