Day #220: Where I find Myself.
rafting rahong pangalengan

Day #220: Where I find Myself.

Morning!

Yesterday (as I mentioned in my little "Hi" post), I spent a bit of time checking in on some of the bloggers that I've truly connected with since beginning this blog. It had honestly been about 2 months since I had really gotten to just sit down and read and I can't tell you how BLOWN away I was to come back to these blogs and see how much progress some of you have made! Perhaps most noteworthy- Julia , who since beginning her weight loss journey (which I believe was about the same time I did...so about 9 months ago) has lost over 100lbs! W.O.W. Needless to say, you all have someone applauding you all in your corner because the fact is- you are still here and still losing- and that IS what this is all about.



So...where am I in all of this? That is the question that I feel like I can't move on in this blog or my journey at all really without answering. I am compelled to analyze where I am in my journey and decide if I've failed or succeeded- those are really the only 2 options that I feel like I have. The truth of the matter is that for the past 3 months I've really just been maintaining my weight loss- I have exercised less than a handful of times, eaten carelessly many handfuls more, and tried to almost forget the journey I've been on since last November- and to me that would mean all signs point in the direction of...failure.



But here's MY reality- I have lost 50lbs and am HALFWAY to my goal of losing 100lbs this year. I have NOT FAILED because it is not December 31st yet and this is NOT over. Sure, I may have had 3 months of not doing my best- but I didn't gain back all of my weight- and for some reason, I feel as though I have.



But at this point I realize I have 2 options to choose from:



#1: I can feel bad that I have wasted these past 3 months of just maintaining and not losing any weight. Compare myself to others and their weight loss and feel bad about myself. Listen to the voice in my head saying I can't do this, and basically allow all of that negativity to make me just...stop. And then come January 2011 I would be finding myself making the same resolution again and probably close to being back at my starting weight.



OR



#2: I can accept that I didn't lose any weight in the last 3 months and let it serve as a sober reminder to me that just because I've lost 50lbs does not mean that I'm a shoe-in for losing the next 50 and that my whole self isn't magically rewired into being a health food eating exercising robot, I'm human and I've got choices to make. I can work my BUTT off these next 5 months and prove to myself that I CAN do this and live the life that I deserve to have. I will move forward accepting that I'm human and remembering that my goal in this journey is not perfection but perserverance.



There is 145 days left in this year and I intend to make every one of them a day that get's me closer to my goal- EVERY STEP- a one forward!



Whew! Alright- that was Tiffany's motivational speech for the day :)



Real quick before I go- I have hit the jackpot! No- not in money...but in another kind of green- SALAD!! Now I know that to some salad may be a 4 letter word but I really love it but because I am a freak about the taste of certain salad dressings and the cleanliness of produce that I don't wash myself I rarely get salads on the go which is stinky because I eat on the go A LOT.



Well, problem solved thanks to Breugger's Bagels! Not sure where they are located throughout the country but they have an option to build you own salad that I'm just crazy about. All of the ingredients are super fresh and are not just your typical salad bar ingredients- they whip it all up in a big bowl right in front of you (not just grab a pre-packaged one of out a refridgerator in "the back") and it is the right size and everything! Sure, you have to be careful what toppings you put on it and how much dressing you ask for but just like in any situation- there's always that choice to be made.



Wanna see my yummy creation? Or at least what was left over of it after I scarfed it down in the car :) (I know, I know...dangerous! lol)


I put tomatoes, asiago cheese, red onion, and 1 scoop (possibly 1 and 1/2 table spoons) of caesar dressing in mine. Personally, I would rather have my salad be a little dry with really yummy dressing than a lot of yucky light dressing. Just my opinion :)

Alright friends- make today one you are proud of!

rafting rahong pangalengan