Jumat, 22 Mei 2015

A Moving Target: My Weight Loss Goal

When I began this journey 3.5 years ago, my "long-term" goal was to lose 100lbs; I knew I definitely needed to lose more than that (being that I started out weighing 352lbs), but I wanted to at least get past the first 100lbs & then take it from there. 

After I lost the first 100lbs I was obviously super happy but felt a bit lost as to where to go from there so I decided to set my first "final goal weight" goal of 180lbs. I'm pretty tall (5'10) and have a wider build so I figured that was a good goal for me although at the time when I set it, it still felt almost unattainable. 

Then I made it to 180lbs and realized I still had a ways to go so in the last 6 months I readjusted my goal weight to a range of 150-155lbs. And then on Sunday, this happened: 
I honestly didn't think I would ever see such a number staring back at me on the scale. It was this very same scale that once showed me 352lbs and it now was showing a number 203lbs lighter... 203lbs??! That means I've lost a whole other overweight person...that's just crazy! 

And perhaps even more crazy, I don't feel like I'm quite satisfied with the idea of me being at my goal weight. Is that crazy? 

I honestly don't know what my goal weight is because I've never been at it in my adult life so I'm finding it hard so say "I will be DONE losing weight when I get to ___lbs;" which is kind of frustrating to a goal-oriented gal like me. I like to have a goal and even more, I want there to be a point where I know I'm DONE losing weight, ya know? 

But it doesn't look like I'm ready to decide what # is just yet. I honestly don't think it would be healthy or sustainable for me to weigh any less than 140lbs so I feel fairly comfortable saying that would be my bare minimum (remember, I'm kind of an amazon woman) so maybe my happy goal weight range will end up being between 140-145lbs; for now, I'm comfortable with just saying..."we'll see." Right now I'm still aiming to lose 1lb per week & I at least take comfort in the fact that I know I have no more than 9 more pounds to lose. 

I would be lying though if I said I'm not concerned about walking down that slippery slope of no weight ever being "good enough" or that I'm always going to want to lose "just 5 more pounds." I guess all I can really do is be aware of that danger & keep my heart pure & right before God. Regardless, I know that I won't be worth more, more beautiful, more loved or more complete by weighing any certain number- the number that stares back at me on the scale doesn't make up my identity. 

So in celebration of being out of the 150's (wow that is still so crazy to fathom!); I thought I'd share a comparison pic; I'm sure you can figure out which one is which! 
Ya gotta love a good selfie. 

In other news, I've been trying lots of new things when it comes to cooking! For those of you who have been following my blog for any length of time you'll know that when I first started this journey, I thought making a wrap for lunch was a huge culinary success so the fact that I now cook on a regular basis, am constantly trying new recipes & even better yet, enjoy it is pretty darn great. 

That being said- I decided to give Kale another shot after my last attempt at eating Kale salad was a big flop. The verdict? 

Bleck. I have come to the conclusion that I just don't really like Kale salad and I'm okay with that. I like it cooked but regardless of how much "massaging" or letting the leaves sit in the dressing I do, I just don't like the texture, the smell or the taste & I made a deal with myself a LOONNGG time ago that I'd never force myself to eat anything I didn't like on this journey so I happily say adieu to eating Kale salad! 

However, all was not a loss in cooking world for me! Here in Western PA there is a wedding tradition called "The Cookie Table." Essentially, at any wedding in Western PA you will see anywhere from 1-4 tables completely packed full of cookies at the reception that have been brought/made by the brides friends and family. It's just a nice gesture and hey, no one is going to complain about having tables full of cookies to choose from! 

Here were some shots from the cookie table at our wedding: 

This weekend D & I will be attending our friend's wedding & I was asked to bake cookies for the cookie table. This was kind of intimidating to me as I've never made cookies from scratch before and people tend to ask who made what cookie and let's just say I was feeling the pressure! Luckily my friend told me what kind she'd like me to bake so at least I didn't have to make that decision as well. So, after scouring the internet for a gluten-free snickerdoodle cookie recipe I finally found one that I thought was doable and that sounded delicious: Gluten Free Pumpkin Snickerdoodles

Needless to say it took me wayyyy longer to make these than the recipe suggests but I threw my fear right out the window and got to work; D was so impressed he just had to snap a pic- or maybe he was more impressed that I was letting my hands get so messy and wanted to document it for proof (I'm realllllly not a fan of the kitchen getting messy, even while cooking)- I'm the type that likes to wash a dish as soon as I'm done using it while cooking while he's more of a "let's just get all the cooking done, make whatever mess we need to and worry about it at the end"- so...we try to compromise (read: he usually tries to compromise- tee hee hee). 

And only 3 hours later (haha) these babies came out pretty darn amazingly: 
I know accomplishments like this may not be a big deal to some but for me, cooking was always one of those areas that I was (and still am) self-conscious about so the fact that I made a cookie that I'm proud of, that tastes good & that me and my other GF friends will be able to enjoy at the wedding, leaves me with a little smile on my face. 

Alright, that's enough for today. 

I'd like to know: 
  • Have you picked a goal weight? How did you come up with that number? Have you ever changed your goal weight?