Rabu, 25 Februari 2015

Day #56: You're So Vain.

Hello loves-

As you all know- I frequent the upright and hybrid bike quite a bit in the gym and typically I'll bring a magazine along to read b/c it helps keep me preoccupied so I'm not looking at how much time I have left; for me- it works like a charm.

Well, the other day while I was flipping through the pages of SELF magazine, I started to realize just how much being obese has caused me to miss out on in life. As I began to really think about it, it seemed like page after page contained some example of something that I had pretty much given into the idea of just never being able to do.

I have already shared some of the major reasons as to why I want to lose weight (and there is more sharing to come), but to be honest NONE of them have really had to do with appearance. I've always been relatively happy with the way I look- my reasons have more to do with being able to do whatever I want in life and not having to miss out on any opportunity because of my weight, being able to be the best mom and wife I can one day, and just being the best version of myself that I can- I don't want to self myself short.

But as I flipped through those magazine pages it became more and more apparent how much I really had been missing out on the "vain" but simple things in life- and ... it made me angry.

What are these "vain" things I have been missing out on?

1- Sleeveless Tops: I don't think that I have EVER worn a sleeveless top (at least not since anywhere past age 12). I've always loved the flowy boho-ish type tops.
2- Shorts: As I've mentioned before, I haven't worn a pair of shorts since I was VERY young. I think these shorts are soooo cute.
3- Dresses: Now I have worn these a bit more frequently, but NEVER unless I was going to an occasion that required one: graduation, weddings, funerals, etc. I don't have a single "casual" dress. In fact, I don't even have a single dress in my closet right now. Same story w/ skirts. 4- Heels: I don't know about you- but being obese has caused me to pretty much have to wear flats at all times. I don't own any heels that are above 1/2 an inch.After all that you may be wondering what it is I DO wear! lol Well... pants, 3/4 sleeve tops, and flip flops in the summer, flats in the winter. I know that not being able to wear these things isn't life or death, but for pete's sake I'M 23 YEARS OLD!!! I should be able to wear *respectively* whatever the frick I want!

It just made me so sad as I flipped through those pages to realize all of the things that I have just reserved not to ever take part in. Seriously- when I go shopping it is like my eyes are trained to not even look at shorts, or sleeveless tops, dresses, or heels because they aren't even an option. Up until *this moment* I have just accepted the fact that these items would never be a part of my life- as if they were made for some people and not made for others. Truthfully, it's not even like I was that unhappy not being able to wear them- I adjusted and compensated well- but I shouldn't HAVE to do that- and I'm not going to anymore.

One day- hopefully one day this year- you will see me in some of these things. These things WERE made for ME too. This is all part of not missing out on things- I am certainly not kicking own butt in the gym every day so I can wear heels or a sleeveless shirt- puhleasse- it's really not that big of a deal- but if I'm going to be kicking my butt in the gym, it's nice to know that one day I'll be able to enjoy these little treats.

And who know's- when I hit my goal weight I still may not LOVE my whatever (legs, arms, blah, blah, blah) and so I may not wear these things all of the time- but I want the option. I deserve the option.

Speaking of- here's some sweat proof-Is there any article of clothing that you always thought you would NEVER wear that you are vowing to bring back into your life?