“It takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before... to test your limits... to break through barriers. And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” -Anais Nin
This year I am setting only 2 goals for myself in this journey. To be quite honest writing this post scares the crap out of me because I am not entirely convinced that I will be able to achieve one of them; but I am going to give it all I've got.
My 1st goal is to lose 100lbs. My 2nd goal is to run a 5k.
I know that to many of you that might not seem like too lofty of a goal but if you could see me at this point and know that I really can't run any longer than 30 seconds right now without feeling like I want to die- you'd see why this seems impossible to me right now.
But that is precisely why I am going to do it. I'm not going to run a 5k because it is great exercise or because it seems like a logical goal for someone on this journey to make. I am doing it because it has been a LONG time since I've achieved something that I completely didn't think I could. I don't know what this means but there really isn't a whole lot of things out there that I don't truly think I could do if I had a little practice- except run.
Being completely honest, these are the thoughts I continue to have in relation to achieving this goal:
- "I am never going to be able to do this."
- "No one can go from not being able to run at all to running a 5K in 1 year."
- "I am just not meant to be a runner."
- "People are going to laugh."
- "I don't have the ability to train the way I need to."
- and most the most overwhelming..."It's impossible."
But here are the thoughts that I KNOW are true and that I will replace the others with:
- "Who says I can't do this?" No one is telling me that I can't do this except myself and it's a voice driven out of FEAR not reality.
- "I CAN and WILL do this." I am ready to just rip and shread through my own expectations for myself and prove to myself that I CAN do even the things I previously thought were impossible.
- "I wasn't born with a tamp on my head from God that said "non-runner"- I will just take it one step at a time- one foot in front of the other until I achieve this goal."
I am the ONLY person that gets to decide whether I do this or not- and I decide...YES. The reality is that what is really holding me back and causing me to believe that I can't do this is not any hardcore evidence that I can't but FEAR. Fear that I might fail, fear that I might embarass myself, fear that I might find out that I really can't do it. But fear has nothing to do with reality.
Am I fully confident that this is something I can physically do? I'm not sure yet- but I'm going to find out.
I would love to hear any advice that you might have about running 5ks! My plan right now is to increase my level of activity each month until I get to the place I need to be to run the 5K.
The 5K that I am going to be running is in July and is called "Run for the One" and is put on by my church- this is only the 2nd year that they are doing it and I think it is the perfect one for me! Plus the track that they do it on is right by my house so I will have lots of time to practice the actual course!
Time to see what I'm really capable of!