Senin, 05 Januari 2015

Day #5: Pushing Past Fear- 2010 Goals


This year I am setting only 2 goals for myself in this journey. To be quite honest writing this post scares the crap out of me because I am not entirely convinced that I will be able to achieve one of them; but I am going to give it all I've got.

My 1st goal is to lose 100lbs. My 2nd goal is to run a 5k.
I know that to many of you that might not seem like too lofty of a goal but if you could see me at this point and know that I really can't run any longer than 30 seconds right now without feeling like I want to die- you'd see why this seems impossible to me right now.

But that is precisely why I am going to do it. I'm not going to run a 5k because it is great exercise or because it seems like a logical goal for someone on this journey to make. I am doing it because it has been a LONG time since I've achieved something that I completely didn't think I could. I don't know what this means but there really isn't a whole lot of things out there that I don't truly think I could do if I had a little practice- except run.
Being completely honest, these are the thoughts I continue to have in relation to achieving this goal:

- "I am never going to be able to do this."

- "No one can go from not being able to run at all to running a 5K in 1 year."

- "I am just not meant to be a runner."

- "People are going to laugh."

- "I don't have the ability to train the way I need to."

- and most the most overwhelming..."It's impossible."

But here are the thoughts that I KNOW are true and that I will replace the others with:

- "Who says I can't do this?" No one is telling me that I can't do this except myself and it's a voice driven out of FEAR not reality.

- "I CAN and WILL do this." I am ready to just rip and shread through my own expectations for myself and prove to myself that I CAN do even the things I previously thought were impossible.

- "I wasn't born with a tamp on my head from God that said "non-runner"- I will just take it one step at a time- one foot in front of the other until I achieve this goal."

I am the ONLY person that gets to decide whether I do this or not- and I decide...YES. The reality is that what is really holding me back and causing me to believe that I can't do this is not any hardcore evidence that I can't but FEAR. Fear that I might fail, fear that I might embarass myself, fear that I might find out that I really can't do it. But fear has nothing to do with reality.

Am I fully confident that this is something I can physically do? I'm not sure yet- but I'm going to find out.
I would love to hear any advice that you might have about running 5ks! My plan right now is to increase my level of activity each month until I get to the place I need to be to run the 5K.

The 5K that I am going to be running is in July and is called "Run for the One" and is put on by my church- this is only the 2nd year that they are doing it and I think it is the perfect one for me! Plus the track that they do it on is right by my house so I will have lots of time to practice the actual course!

Time to see what I'm really capable of!