Senin, 04 Mei 2015

Day #124 & #125: I'm Not Who I Was!

I've noticed that the longer I've been continuing on this journey, the less "exciting" everything feels...why?

Well:
- Most of the drastic (and exciting) life changes that need to be made have pretty much already occured.
- The thrill of trying new foods has turned into a bit of a monotonous menu.
- A bit of weight has been lost and the things that used to be super horrible about your weight/health/energy/confidence, etc. aren't nearly AS bad.

Can anyone else identify with this?

However, while the new (and motivating) thrill might be gone of beginning a journey like this- one thing that I'm sure will never get old is when a situation occurs that reminds you of just how far you come and how glad you should be that you're not where you used to be. I know because I experienced one of these overwhelmingly rewarding moments the other day:

As you know I started a new job about a month ago so my weight loss (of almost 50lbs I might add!) is basically unnoticed by my new co-workers since they didn't know me 49ish pounds ago- nor do most of them know that I am even on a weight loss journey.

Well, the other day one of my co-workers named Stacey (a cute, short, 30ish, African-American girl who is always super nice and has kind of taken me under her wing) called me over to her desk; when I walked over she had her foot sticking out from under the desk with a high heel sandal that looked similar to this on:

At first I thought she was just wanting to show me her new shoes but before I could even ask if they were new, she said something to the effect of, "Um...do you ever have problems buckling your shoes? For some reason I can barely even contort my body enough to be able to fasten this strap- this is just crazy! Does this happen to you?"

And after immediately choosing to not be offended by the fact that she had clearly asked me out of the 15 other girls in our office this question since I am still overweight and she assumed that if anyone did have a problem buckling their shoes it would be me, I said, "Yea. That has happened to me before. And it is ridiculous, which is why I had to change and do something about it...in fact- I've lost almost 50lbs since November."

And sure, while it felt good to be able to say, "I've lost 50lbs"- it felt 1 MILLION times better to be able to walk away from that conversation not feeling bad about myself or making a promise or resolution that "I really should start trying to lose weight!" That I HAVE changed and that that girl who cannot strap her shoes will NEVER be me again.

Honestly, I don't know that I would be able even now to buckle a strap like that without having to hold my breath as I bend over, but you know what- some day soon, I will be able to and dang it- I'm more than on my way.

If you are still hanging in there, eating healthily, making an effort to work out, and fighting this fight then know that I'm standing and applauding you because no matter how much of you just wants to say, "Yea- but I could have lost more, worked out longer, ate better, etc." You are still here and you are NOT where you were.


Sure, things may not be as exciting and I may not feel as motivated as I was when I first started- but the imagining how great I will feel on December 31st, 2010 when I have lost at least 100lbs is worth the mundane and imagining how horrible it would feel to not have given up and fallen short of my very best on December 31st pushes me forward every day.

So let's keep moving forward-one step at a time.