Februari 2015
rafting rahong pangalengan
Morning bliggity bloggers!

Well as you all know today is weigh in day. Due to the I AM WORTH MORE CHALLENGE, I skipped last week's weigh in but my weigh before the challenge began was 319- and as I wrote about yesterday my February goal was to hit 315 today. And today when I stepped on the scale .... it .... said.....

315!!!!! I absolutely could not freaking believe it! That is a 4lb loss (over 2 weeks) and brings me to a grand total of 37lbs lost!!!! This is the most weight I have ever lost and I'm still a bit mystified that it is actually happening. Yay!

Well, before I go I thought I'd share last night's dinner- Black Bean Tostadas! You all KNOW that this AZ girl loves her some Mexican food so I figure it was high time I try this new recipe!

Ingredients:
2 Trader Joes White Corn Tortillas (sprayed w/cooking spray and baked for 8 mins)
Black Beans
Lettuce (I used Romain)
Trader Joe's Salsa
Fat Free Sour Cream
and of course I had to have a few tortilla chips! I chose TJ's Organic White Corn Tortilla Chips.

Put it all together and viola! All for 455 calories! Oh and in case you weren't able to check out my February evaluation post from yesterday... doooo it! (please!) lol :)

*BIG HUGS*
Helllloooooo Bloggies!

Alright, I'm officially out of my funk! I was able to make it out of the house for about an hour today so I think all I needed was some fresh air! :)

LOTS of business to attend to today!

First up on the list....

1) Job Update:
Well... I got offered a job yesterday! Don't get too excited- I haven't officially accepted the offer yet, because I still have an interview on Monday for the job that I realllly want. The job that was offered to me is a decent job- I think I could be happy there, it's not too far away, and most importantly it fits w/ the schedule that I need it to. The downside? I'd be making a dollar less than I was before. I know in this economy I should take what I can get but still. Either way, whether it be the job I was offered or the one I'm interviewing on Monday for, I am no longer on the job hunt which just makes me want to get up a do the boogy- b/c I HATE looking for a job- wait... does anyone NOT hate looking for a job!? lol I'll be sure to keep you all posted!

2) Evaluating February (via my Feb goals):
It seems like this was a bit of a rough month for the blog world- we saw quite a few bite the dust and completely deactivate their blogs, even more still struggling with fighting cravings and the social temptation of food, and a few kick butt; either way- in my eyes if you are still chuggin along, you have NOT failed- I am most certainly in that boat.

I look back on February and it definitely brought some unique challenges in regards to this journey...
- Snowmaggedon occured here in Pgh and besides leaving the house only to go to work, my gym routine was threatened and cut short for a little over 2 weeks where I was only able to get there 2-3 times a week instead of the 5 that I'd been aiming for.
- I lost my job and dealt with some SERIOUS stress w/ my mom. These events EASILY would have thrown me off course before but it didn't even phase me one bit- I just kept chugging- and it was my ability to stay true that really showed me how far I've come.
- I identified my 4 Pitiful Pitfalls and also had an epiphany about what it will really take to lose 100lbs this year.

Overall it was a month that wasn't bad, wasn't great, but was most definitely NECESSARY. Alright, let's get to the goals!

I'm trying not to look at things so cut and dry so I've come up with this little system to evaluate how I've done: ***= Goal Achieved! **= Halfway there! *= Needs improvement!

Goal 1: Try 3 New Veggies

2/10/10: Spinach
2/20/10: Broccoli
2/21/10: Celery (by itself)
Result: ***Goal Achieved! As you all know, veggies are foreign objects to me, so even these tiny steps that I'm making are huge for me! I'm ready to step out of my comfort zone a little more and will be adding in some more veggies very soon!

Goal 2: Track Calories for 1 Full Month
Result: ** Halway There! I really must say that I'm proud of the effort that I did put into counting/tracking calories this month, I wasn't perfect but there were MANY days where I tracked even though I didn't want to. I have a new plan for this for March that you'll just have to wait to hear about until I share my March goals :)

Goal 3: Incorporate 1 serving of fruit in per day for 1 week

Result: * Needs Improvement! Yea- I'm not sure why this didn't happen- I feel like my grocery shopping was a bit out of wack this month due to the weather but um HELLO I did buy groceries this month and easily could have bought fruit! I guess eating fruit is just something I've never done a lot of so it's easy for me to just forget that it exists. I have been eating apples ever now and again but definitely nothing consistant. I know that this needs to change.

Goal 4: Work out at the gym 5x's a week for 1 month!

Result: ** Halfway There! I really wish that I could give myself three stars on this one b/c I gave a seriously valient effort but alas, not 5x's a week every week. But I must share this- in February, I went to the gym EVERY day that it was possible (aka no snow storm) except for 1 day. This usually worked out to going anywhere from 2-4 times a week. At least I can say that I know that it wasn't b/c of my laziness that I didn't go and I'm still suprising myself every time I'm at the gym of how much I enjoy being there and working out b/c those of you who have been following me for a while know that was NOT always the case! (Karen, I still remember your comment the day I got my membership :)

Goal 5: Try Every Machine at the gym!
Result: **Halfway There! You all probably remember me saying that there are some machines at my gym that I'm afraid to go on because I don't know how to work them or I think people will judge me for being on, so I made a goal to try every machine at the gym so I could conquer the apprehension that I have about it. I did pretty good- being that my gym time was limited this month I found myself really wanting to utilize the time I had there doing what I'm good at but I did step out and try a few new thinigs: the cycle plus (a recumbent that utilizes your arms at the same time), and all of the strength training circuit equipment. My gym isn't huge but there are still 2 machines that I've yet to try (I'll share about these little beasts another time)!

Goal 6: Walk 2 miles in 30 minutes
.
Result:** Halfway There! Ok so here's how my Mr. T time usually goes- no matter how much I up the mph I finish my 30 minutes at 1.75 miles- I'm thinking that in order to do 2 miles in 30 minutes I'm gonna have to start jogging or something because I'm not sure that it's possible when I'm just walking- anyone have any advice for this? I will say that I have made progress with my speed- when I first started doing the treadmill (aka Mr. T) I was walking at 3.3/3.4mph and now I average 3.5/3.7 mph. A small improvement but one that puts a smile on my face :)

Goal 7: Do the elliptical for 15 minutes straight!

Result: *** Goal Achieved!!! Ok I am just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO friggin excited about this!!! On January 23rd I was only able to do the elliptical for 5 minutes without feeling like my face was about to explode and I hadn't really stepped on the elliptical more than 2 times since then, so when I was looking over these goals a week or so ago I was thinking..."Hmm...maybe I need to adjust the goal to 10 minutes instead of 15 b/c this is just wayyy too hard," and then Wednesday I decided to hop on and did 15 freakin minutes!!!! I'm sure for some this probably doesn't sound impressive but this has been one of my proudest moments at the gym. And just to be sure it wasn't a fluke I did 15 minutes again today! This just proves to me that my endurance is improving and I am becoming more fit! :) : ) :) I do have a question though- does anyone know what the equivelant of being on the elliptical is to actual running? If you can do the elliptical for 30 minutes does that mean you can run for 30 minutes?

Goal 8: Weigh no more than 315 on February 28th
Result:
??? My weigh in is tomorrow and truthuflly, I'm not thinking I'll be seeing 315- maybe something more like 317- but you never know. Whatever the scale shows me I'm going to be FINE with because my body is changing, my endurance is growing, and I am doing all of the right things! Still- it would be nice to achive that goal tomorrow! We'll just have to wait and see :)

And one last order of business....

Shout Out Time!

Today I have 2 Shout Outs to give to 2 VERY inspirational ladies!

1- Nicole reached a MAJOR goal of hers the other day when she ran 3 miles non-stop!!! She has a race coming up in a few weeks and I know she is going to do AMAZINGLY. I'll be cheering you on all the way over here in the Burgh Nicole! :)

2- I also want to say CONGRATS to Sunshine Mama! If you haven't checked out her blog YOU NEED to! She is hard-core... no really- she has some serious guns! And she just announced the other day that she is expecting her 6th child!!!

Alright, that's enough for me for today (sorry for the lonnnng post!) but be sure to check back tomorrow for my weigh in!

Oh and of course I got to give ya'll some sweat proof! (Warning I'm lookin a bit funkified but whatev- it's all in the name of sweat!) Today's workout included: 30 minutes on the hybrid bike (8 miles), 15 minutes on the elliptical, and a strength training circuit. Love ya bloggies!
One of my favorite parts about this journey has been proving to myself that I can do things I never imagined were possible when I was 352lbs. If you have followed my blog for awhile, you'll know that running has always been one of those things that seemed impossible for me- as if it was just completely out of the question. 

To give you some background, running wasn't just something that seemed out of the question to me when I weighed 352lbs, it even seemed out of the question to me a month ago. I guess I've just always had that image of a "runner" in my mind and thought that I could never be that- it seemed pointless to even dream about it. I remember when I first started this journey, I challenged myself to run 30 seconds on the treadmill and I thought I was going to die! Well, now that I've lost about 187lbs I figured that it was high time to prove to myself yet again that NOTHING is impossible through Christ who gives me strength (Phillipians 4:13) so 3 weeks ago I began the illustrious C25k (Couch to 5K) training plan. If you're not familiar with it, it's basically a 3 times a week running program that uses intervals of walking/running to eventually take you from being able to run only 1 min to being able to run for 30 minutes straight. I use an app on my iphone and it works amazingly! There are plenty of them out there and they will sync with your music and will tell you exactly when to walk and when to run- easy peazy! Here's me getting a run in at our hotel last week (I was in DC for work): 




Well, I'm officially finished with the 3rd week of the program and I've got to say, I am quite impressed with how my endurance has improved. I started out huffing and puffing from running 1.5 minutes and yesterday ran for 3 minutes. Now, I know to some running 3 minutes straight may not seem like a big deal but for ME...it was a major moment of victory. I remember as I was getting ready to run yesterday thinking that I wasn't ready to move to the next level of running for 3 minutes but I put myself out there & took a chance and ran those 3 freaking minutes twice! 

Now, I'd be lying to you if I said that I'm totally confident I can do tomorrow's run, or the next days or the next days because honestly, I've never ran that far before and by no means have the runs I've been doing been easy but you know what, I'm willing to TRY and give it my all and each time I've done that, I've never been disappointed. 

One thing that has been a little disappointing is that my left ankle pretty much started giving me problems after just a week into the program. I went out and got some really good running shoes (thank you Brooks!), socks & an ankle brace that I believe has definitely helped although I still definitely can feel some pain. Here's my fancy shoes & not so fancy brace: 



 I've heard some mixed reviews when it comes to pain & running- some say that if you feel absolutely any pain that you should stop right away & see a doctor. Others say that pain in some form just comes along with running and as long as it's not debilitating or getting increasingly worse, to just keep keeping on. Honestly, that's the approach I'm going with. 

I want to run a 5k. Ahemmm...I'm going to run a 5k. Later this month I will be signing up for this baby: 
And although I'm still downright terrified & in disbelief at the thought that I could actually run for 30 minutes consecutively, I'm going to give everything I have to find out. I don't plan on training to run any farther distances than a 5k as I quite honestly enjoy other physical activity more than I do running but running a 5k has been a goal of mine for quite some time and this is the year and the time for me to reach it! 

Questions: 
- Are any of you working towards/training for something you once thought was impossible? 
- Anyone have any advice/thoughts on encountering pain while running? 
Today, I'm in a bit of a funk.

I had an 2nd interview this morning @ 9:45 in downtown Pgh and I was super excited- but when I woke up I realized that the snow has yet again plagued my life and there was no way it would be safe to drive in (especially downtown) so I called to reschedule and the receptionist told me that they weren't going to do interviews past this morning so basically... it's a no go. I'm really not THAT upset because I have an interview for a job that I reallllllly want on Monday but I'm kind of just bummed that the snow is here again and that I'll be cooped up inside all day (meaning NO gym)...I think it may be time to get creative...hmmm....

Due to my little funk I thought I would just share some happenings from this week in pictures :) But fear not, the next few days are always my favorite (the end of the month) b/c it's when I evaluate my monthly goals, set new ones for the next month, and take measurements! All good stuff to look forward to- tomorrow I'll be evaluating my February goals!

And now, my week in pictures... While driving around for an interview I snapped this picture- safe eh? lol This is a pic of downtown Pgh and it is quite the site to see (the camera phone doesn't quite do it justice!). Pgh is unlike any other place I've ever lived and (despite the SNOW) I really love it!

This is my friend Elizabeth and I at one of our church events earlier this week- she's a lovely girl :)
Pizzaaaa! Jussst Kidding! This was my lunch from yesterday and fear not- it's NOT pizza but it was SOOOOOO delicious! The "crust" is actually naan bread- if you're new to naan it is basically an indian bread and you can buy it either frozen or fresh from Trader Joe's (if you don't have a trader joe's near you- that really sucks :) Anyways, this is the frozen garlic naan, topped with my yummy spinach dip, tomatoes, chicken, and light provolone. Super filling and all for 395 cals- I know that's a bit on the high end but for my caloric goals it's still decent and it's not something I would have EVERY day. Except...I'll probably be having it for lunch again today :)Ok so this picture just cracks me up- I had to share it! lol I posted a pic earlier this week from a game night we had on Sunday night and I couldn't resist sharing one more- I love everything about this picture :) Except that I look amazonishly tall- haha!
Finally, here is a pic of right outside my bedroom window (it goes out onto a deck)- check out thos friggin icecicles! Those could kill somebody! lol Ahhh...Spring, promise me you're right around the corner?

Ok- I'm peacin' for now- check back tomorrow as I go through my goals from February!

Peace and Love :)
Hello loves-

As you all know- I frequent the upright and hybrid bike quite a bit in the gym and typically I'll bring a magazine along to read b/c it helps keep me preoccupied so I'm not looking at how much time I have left; for me- it works like a charm.

Well, the other day while I was flipping through the pages of SELF magazine, I started to realize just how much being obese has caused me to miss out on in life. As I began to really think about it, it seemed like page after page contained some example of something that I had pretty much given into the idea of just never being able to do.

I have already shared some of the major reasons as to why I want to lose weight (and there is more sharing to come), but to be honest NONE of them have really had to do with appearance. I've always been relatively happy with the way I look- my reasons have more to do with being able to do whatever I want in life and not having to miss out on any opportunity because of my weight, being able to be the best mom and wife I can one day, and just being the best version of myself that I can- I don't want to self myself short.

But as I flipped through those magazine pages it became more and more apparent how much I really had been missing out on the "vain" but simple things in life- and ... it made me angry.

What are these "vain" things I have been missing out on?

1- Sleeveless Tops: I don't think that I have EVER worn a sleeveless top (at least not since anywhere past age 12). I've always loved the flowy boho-ish type tops.
2- Shorts: As I've mentioned before, I haven't worn a pair of shorts since I was VERY young. I think these shorts are soooo cute.
3- Dresses: Now I have worn these a bit more frequently, but NEVER unless I was going to an occasion that required one: graduation, weddings, funerals, etc. I don't have a single "casual" dress. In fact, I don't even have a single dress in my closet right now. Same story w/ skirts. 4- Heels: I don't know about you- but being obese has caused me to pretty much have to wear flats at all times. I don't own any heels that are above 1/2 an inch.After all that you may be wondering what it is I DO wear! lol Well... pants, 3/4 sleeve tops, and flip flops in the summer, flats in the winter. I know that not being able to wear these things isn't life or death, but for pete's sake I'M 23 YEARS OLD!!! I should be able to wear *respectively* whatever the frick I want!

It just made me so sad as I flipped through those pages to realize all of the things that I have just reserved not to ever take part in. Seriously- when I go shopping it is like my eyes are trained to not even look at shorts, or sleeveless tops, dresses, or heels because they aren't even an option. Up until *this moment* I have just accepted the fact that these items would never be a part of my life- as if they were made for some people and not made for others. Truthfully, it's not even like I was that unhappy not being able to wear them- I adjusted and compensated well- but I shouldn't HAVE to do that- and I'm not going to anymore.

One day- hopefully one day this year- you will see me in some of these things. These things WERE made for ME too. This is all part of not missing out on things- I am certainly not kicking own butt in the gym every day so I can wear heels or a sleeveless shirt- puhleasse- it's really not that big of a deal- but if I'm going to be kicking my butt in the gym, it's nice to know that one day I'll be able to enjoy these little treats.

And who know's- when I hit my goal weight I still may not LOVE my whatever (legs, arms, blah, blah, blah) and so I may not wear these things all of the time- but I want the option. I deserve the option.

Speaking of- here's some sweat proof-Is there any article of clothing that you always thought you would NEVER wear that you are vowing to bring back into your life?

I am just beyond words excited for the changes that have been happening in my life lately.

No major life change has happened, but my point of view, focus, determination, and thought process has completely changed. I am stepping out of my comfort zone, I am beginning to be able to visualize the person I will become and the body I will have, I am gaining the control that I so desperately wanted to have over my food choices and impulses- in short: I AM BECOMING THE PERSON GOD CREATED ME TO BE in so many different ways. Not that God wasn't happy or didn't love me at 352lbs but I know that I wasn't glorifying Him with the choices I was making, nor was I a good reflection of a life that has been completely satisfied by Him. More on that another time.

Here are some Highlights & Updates from the last week:

  • FOOD: One of the most VITAL keys to my success has been food preparation. Becasue it is hard for me to control myself when eating out (although I still do it quite often) as well as it being expensive, I usually bring my lunch to work every week (M-F). However, because I don't have time in the mornings to cook and pack a lunch everyday, I do ALL of my food prep and packing on Sundays. Luckily, I don't have a hard time eating the same thing for lunch everyday, but if I don't like what I'm eating then it becomes difficult to do that week in and week out- so, I usually try and cook a brand new lunch recipe at least every other week. Some common lunch reoccurences: Turkey Chili, Tuna or Chicken Salad Sandwhiches, or Pasta; and this past week PIZZA joined the ranks of my lunch favorites! The pic above is the pizza I made this past week and it was seriously the BEST thing I have EVER made- I could prob eat it for lunch every day for the rest of the month! I used: Trader Joe's rustic ciabbata pizza crust, Trader Joe's basil marinara spaghetti sauce, reduced fat part skim mozzarella cheese, mushrooms, spinach, red onion, garlic, and chicken. So. freaking. delicious. Next time I make it I will be more careful to calculate the exact nutritional info but if I had to guess, I believe for 2 slices it was about 350 calories and with 4 servings coming out of each pizza, I'm good for lunch for almost the entire week! You all will be seeing more pizza creations from me in the future, no doubt. Anyone have any good recipe suggestions that are easy to make & pack for the week in advance?
  • My weigh in this week was pretty much exactly what I expected: At last week's weigh in I had a 7lb loss so my goal for this week was pretty much to just maintain that loss (something that is hard for me to do for some reason); however, I was able to do just that and weighed in at 270lbs this Thursday. My goal for next week's weigh in? A 2lb loss, total loss of 84lbs, at 268lbs.

  • One of my goals for the month of February was to check out a group fitness class- this is something I've wanted to do for a while for a couple of reasons: 1) I can feel myself beginning to get a bit bored with doing 45 min on the elliptical 4x's a week and was in need of some variety, 2) I don't want my body to get used to using the same muscles at the same amount of resistance, and 3) I am ALL about not allowing fear to keep me from doing ANYTHING and working out with a group of people who may be more fit than I am and might judge me if I'm not able to keep up w/the class is pretty scary to me. WELL...this past Wednesday I had my first group fitness class experience through my local YMCA and I attended Zumba. Prior to going I had heard really good things about the class from some co-workers (mostly that it was fun and a really good workout) and it seemed to be the least intimidating option; when I arrived I was suprised to see that I was one of the 5 people there under the age of 50, which immediately calmed my nerves but made me suspicious about how much of a good workout I would actually be getting. My final evaluation? While it was a nice break from the old elliptical, there were numerous times throughout the class that I found myself wondering why I was finding it so easy and if I was wasting my precious workout time. I had to constantly make the moves more challenging and continue marching while everyone else took water breaks after every song, but when I checked my calorie burn on my heart rate monitor, it did show I had burned 592 calories in the 50 minute class session AND my butt and legs are freaking killing me- perhaps it was a better workout than I thought! In the end, I probably will be attending the class on more of a bi-weekly basis than weekly (for variety), I am glad that I went and proud of myself for not allowing fear to hold me back from something I had no reason to be afraid of. My next step of kicking fear in the face? Spin. I am by no means confident in my ability to even make it through a class but I am going to try. I'm hoping that it will have the challenging aspect that I'm looking for and that I may end up being passionate about it. I'm not gonna lie- I'm truly nervous about it, but that's not gonna stop me. I plan to take my first class next week if not this weekend. What has your experience with Zumba been? Did you like or dislike it? Also, should I be afraid to try spinning?
Alright, I think this post has gotten long enough (this posting only one time a week thing usually leaves me with lots to talk about!), but I've got to say- there's absolutely nothing like doing something you never thought you could do before and becoming a person you never even thought you could become. I love it.

Have a good weekend :)
Howdy-

A while back I shared my very first interaction with making anything w/ Spinach (a spinach dip), and if you remember it turned out awesome and I loved it! I had lots of questions asking for the recipe and for the nutritional info but I didn't keep track the first time so when I decided to make some more last night- I made sure to jot it all down. Again- the deliciousness...The "How to" for Tiffany's Spinach Dip (adapted from the HG version) : (pssst- this makes approximately 6-8 servings)

Mix all of the following ingredients together in this order in over low heat in a medium sauce pan:
- 4oz of fat free cream cheese
- 1 oz. fat free (or soy) milk
- 1/3 cup + 2 teaspoons of fat free mayo
- 1/4 cup of fat free sour cream
- 1 can of water chestnuts
- 2 teaspoons minced garlic
- 3 tablespoons reduced fat parmesan cheese
- 10 oz. of spinach (frozen or fresh)
Then throw it in a microwave safe baking dish and bake for 20-25 minutes at 325 and VIOLA! All for just around 110 cals per serving (3 tblspoons)!!!

I seriously use this spinach dip for everything- to eat w/ chips, on top of pita or naan bread, as a pizza topping, the possibilities are endless! :) It is seriously so good that I had to have it as my brunch snack today- I paired it w/ Trader Joe's organic white corn chips (120 cals for 14 chips); a delicous snack for 230 cals!
Alright, today I felt like keeping it light and wanted to acknowlege some of the cool awards that I received last week- and one of them was one I hadn't gotten before given to me by one of my fav bloggers, Foodie: The Honest Scrap Award!
As a part of this award I am supposed to share about the following 10 Best Things; here we go!

1) Best Meal Ever- Oh gosh- this is really hard. I would say that it would have to be my favorite meal growing up. One of my earliest childhood memories is how much I loved this meal- I would seriously LICK THE PLATE every time I ate it-hahah oh my. My nan always made "Chicken Cream of Celery Soup"- basically it was just chicken breasts cooked in cream of celery soup but for some reason I just loved it! Who knows how many times I requested that she make that for me- everyone else hated it but I just couldn't get enough!

2) Best Sleep Ever- I honestly don't know that I have an answer to this question! lol Nope- I don't. But I will say that I love the feeling you get when you get to wake up all on your own (aka- being able to sleep in and not being abruptly woken up by the alarm clock) and the sun is shining in the window- that is a great way to wake up :)

3) Best Cup of Coffee- Ahhhh now this I have an answer for! Prior to moving to PA, I had probably never gotten coffee at a gas station in my life- Starbucks kept me plenty happy. However, when I moved here all I kept hearing was about how people loved this gas station called Sheetz- of course I had to try it out and I had to admit their cafe was pretty impressive and cheap- but it is their coffee that is to die for! I have had a LOT of different coffees in my day but this is by far the best.

4) Best Romantic Moment- No comment :) Can I plead the fifth on this one? hee hee

5) Best Childhood Memory Moment- Every summer growing up my Nan would take me for a trip to Disneyland and we would just have a freaking blast together every time. My favorite ride has always been the Pirates of the Carribean and dragging her on the ride where she would inevitably get wet is one of the fondest memories I have.

6) Best Moment of Your Life: This would hands down the be when I asked Christ into my heart- everything changed that day and my life has never been the same. That was almost 9 years ago now and it was the best decision I ever made.

7) Best Moment of Revenge: Oh man... something you must know is that I am a MAJOR prankster. No- seriously- I'm a big deal. hahahaha jk- but my pranking skills definitely did bring me one sweet (and a bit shameful) moment of revenge my senior year of college... after a friend and I had both left our jobs serving at a restaurant b/c of some haneous treatment, we may or may not have ordered hundreds of dollars in take out and never picked it up. Oops.

8) Best Thing Someon Has Done for You: My grandma definitely wins for this one- it really has never been just one thing that she did that was amazing- it's hundreds of things. My parents have never really been on the straight and narrow so they weren't able to support me financially throughout my life. I can't even count how many times my grandma has been there for me both emotionally and financially- I know for a fact that I wouldn't be where I am today without her!

9) Best Thing You Have Ever Done for Someone Else: Well it kind of feels "weird" sharing this lol but for my part time job as an Outreach Director, we do a lot of things for the huge homeless population that is in our community and I have truly developed some genuine friendships with these homeless men. This past Thanksgiving my roomate and I decided to take out 2 of our homeless friends for Thanksgiving dinner and it was such a rewarding experience- I wasn't able to make it home for the holiday's this year and that was tough enough- I can't imagine not having any friends or family to be with on days like Thanksgiving and Christmas.

10) Best Life Changing Moment: So far I would say that was the day I knew I was supposed to move to Pittsburgh (from FL) and help plant a church here. I had really wanted to move to Pittsburgh and played with the idea for over a year but wasn't sure that it was what I was supposed to do; when I was finally able to say yes it was a great feeling and has definitely altered my life's path.

And now I'm supposed to nominate 5 others for the award- please don't feel like you have to do the questions or even mention the award- but I would love to give a shout out to some fantastic bloggers who def. keep it honest... and scrappy :)

Melissa @ Try Try Again: She is kicking some major butt and learning lots along the way- definitly a blogger I love!

Miss Sarahlou: A sweet girl who kicked butt in last weeks "I AM WORTH MORE" Challenge!

Kerri and Katie
@ In college. In shape: These girls are full of energy and always have interesting blog topics!

Nicole @ Letthemeatlettuce: This girl is one to read- she is one of my best bloggy buddies!

Mary @Amerrylife: What a lovely and wise girl this one is- and adventurous too!

Alright, happy Wednesday everyone!

Peace and Love :)
Morning muffins!

THX for all of the sweet and encouraging comments on yesterday's post- it really is unbelievably rewarding so that that the work and effort I'm putting in is actually making a difference.

NSV:

So being that I was skipping my weigh in day for the challenge, I figured that I needed to implement one of the many other ways to find out if any progress is being made- one that I hadn't done before. So I decided to head on over to LB, since that is one store that I've been pretty consistent w/ as far as buying jeans from, and see if my pant size has changed at all. I've probably been a size 28 for more than 2 years now and at the end of last year the 28's were gettin' snug- so being at the same size for that long it was a little hard for me to believe that I would actually be able to fit into anything smaller.

Well, I did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Check it! 26's!!!!
Now I KNOW that being a size 26 is nothing to celebrate about for the normal person- in fact it would be more of a nightmare! haha- but for me I'm dancing in these 26's!! :) I knew that I was probably close to moving down a size because when I wear my current size 28 jeans I look like I crapped my pants and there's lost of room in the front...Sorry for the poor quality crazy shots- had to get em' w/ the celly.

No more Mz. Nice Tiff:
This morning I woke up and smelled the coffee- I need to put a little more into this. I basically haven't tracked my food all week (still been eating well), but the only reason I'm not tracking is because I'm being lazy and it isn't as convenient for me now that I don't have a job where I have nothing to do at other than right down what I'm eating- haha. This week I'm tightening up on myself in every way- I took an inventory of last week and these are some things that need to change for this week:
- Drink 64 oz water a day
- Eat my planned meals at the right times (I was skipping wayyyy too many meals)
- Track.every.morsel.

Well apparently it all had to do with food- I was getting lax- well NO MORE cuz I am desperate to reach my goal of 315 at this Sunday's weigh in (that means a 4lb drop from my last weigh in).

Has anyone else been feeling that need to slack like me? Well- let's let that feeling pass us right on by while we are running on the treadmill and achieving our goals! This won't come easy- we've got to (in the words of my dearest Andrea) fight like hell!

I'll be giving the scale some MAJOR hell this week- who's with me?!?

And finally....

The Job Hunt:
I have 4 job interviews this week! There's a few that are at the low end of the pay I'd like, a few above my range, one I don't see myself at, and one that I would LOVE! Pray that I would received guidance and that I would have the wisdom to know which to chose if I were offered more than one :) All I have to say is THANK GOD for tax refunds! hahaha


M'kay- you guys rock :)
Well hellllo!

Wow- it has been a loooonnnnng time since I last posted. Although I miss blogging and reading blogs dearly, I've come to accept that it's just not something that fits regularly into my life right now but I don't want to shut this blog down completely so I plan to try and post at least monthly- I understand by doing this I'm not necessarily providing a sense of support to the blogging/weight loss community like I was in the past, so this blog will basically just exist as a way for me to keep record of what has happened & continues to happen and if anyone else benefits from reading, then great :)

Life over the past couple months has been pretty amazing- lots of changes for sure. Let's see...some of the more monumental occurences have been:

Visiting Israel: For two weeks in November a group of friends and I from church traveled all around the nation of Israel- what an absolutely incredible experience it was. Here's a pic of me in front of Jerusalem.

Visiting Home for XMas: All of my family lives on the west coast while I live in the east coast; I only get to go home to see them once a year (at xmas) and two xmas' ago when I went home I had lost 70lbs and that was quite the shock for them- this year when I went home I wanted to have lost another 70lbs (which I did!) for a total of 140lbs lost and they were easily twice as shocked as last year. Truthfully, this was a really healing & redemptive time for me. Many of the people in my life today never knew me at 352lbs- sure they see that I'm continuing to lose weight but they don't know who I was back then and truthfully how I've been literally my entire life up until the past 2 years. My family  has always been nothing but loving and supportive of me in every way- they never once said anything about my obesity (although perhaps they should have) but I always knew that silently, it worried them and they wanted better for me so it was just SO nice to be able to give that gift to my family members this season. I also felt like them seeing me healthy and happy was just one final way of really showing them that I'm an adult now & that I have my own life and that I'm doing okay. Although at first I could tell they weren't sure if I wanted them to make a fuss over it or not, eventually they learned that it didn't bother me and expressed how amazed and proud of me they were. It was definitely a healing trip. Below is a pic of me and 2 of my cousins on my last night there.

Falling In Love: Yep, it's true. It happened. For the past couple months I have been dating an absolutely amazing man of God. He is the kindest man I know and I am blessed to be able to love him and be loved by him :) And because this is a weight loss blog I will mention that we've known eachother for about 2 years now so he's seen me at all sorts of different weights- I'm sure I'll post more about this subject at a later date.

                                         
                                               

And now onto what I'm sure you're all most curious about (and kinda the point of this blog)...weightloss! Given that I haven't posted in almost 4 months I'm sure some of you were worried that I had fallen off the proverbial "wagon" and gained back half of what I'd lost- well, not hardly! Since my last post I'm down another 20lbs and at my lowest weight of...well since I can remember lol of 204lbs for a total current loss of 148lbs!!! I promise not to toot my own horn for the rest of this post but just give me a minute....TOOT TOOT!!! Alright, so that I can move on with my life, here are my next set of progress pics (going from my first pic taken at 333lbs, the pic I took right before this one at 224lbs, and then my current pic at 204lbs).

224 lbs.
204 lbs.

224 lbs
204lbs

224lbs
204lbs
So now that I feel like I've caught ya'll up on everything, I guess I'll share where I'm currently at with everything and where I want to go (in my favorite bulleted style of course!) Recently I've been getting a lot of emails from readers who are either just wanting to make sure I'm still alive or are looking for advice- and as unfortunate as it may be, I really don't have time to respond to each one although I'd love to, so I thought I'd just share in this post what I'm currently doing to continue losing weight and hope that it answers some questions. Thx for being understanding!
  • Right now I really don't know what my final goal is but it's currently set at 180lbs so I have another 24lbs to go; however, I have a mini-goal before that of getting into the 100's by the end of February. I honestly cannot even fathom my weight having a number 1 in front of it...and the fact that I'm only 5lbs away from that is just insanely amazing. My goal is to be at 180lbs by the end of April- a lofty goal, I know, which is why I'm currently living at my best potential ever.
  • Exercise: Right now I'm still exercising 5x's per week (but let's be honest, sometimes it's 4xs). I do a 60 minute spin class at least twice a week, 20 minute interval strength training circuit 3 times per week, and I run 3x's per week as I'm training for my first 5k later this year! What what! This is by no means the most hardcore exercise routine but it is the absolute most that I can do with working almost 2 full time jobs, having a boyfriend, and just living life; which means I've gotta be hardcore with my nutrition.
  • Nutrition: I still am adhering to the principle that no food is completely off limits but I do live within a strict calorie budget of 1200-1300 calories per day. I still use the MyFitnessPal App to track my caloric intake (it's amazing). I still do all my food prep on Sundays for the week and while I don't eat completely clean or preservative free, I limit my calories and that's what works for me.
  • This is a really unique season of this journey for me. I don't feel like I'm in 911 mode anymore where it's evident that my life is in danger because I could have a heart attack any second or get diabetes, like I said earlier- I really don't remember being this "small" so it's been hard for me not to become complacent with where I am. One of the huge things that is keeping me going and really not settling for less than my best is visualization. I frequently visualize both the things that I don't ever want to go back to (not being able to ride roller coasters or fit in certain seats) as well as the things that I still can't do but deserve to and want to (wear cute dresses, swimsuits, and sleeveless tops). I'm now at the point where every pound lost is uncharted territory and while it's a bit harder to believe that I can ever really be just normal, I am refusing to quit until I find out.
I hope you all have enjoyed the update- I've certainly enjoyed sharing. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to share more frequently than I think- I know I would definitely love to see how some of my favorite bloggy buddies are doing these days! My parting words are these: Stay strong- you DESERVE to be happy with who you are on every level- YOU are the only one who can and is gonna get this done and when it's all said and done you will be one thing you haven't been of yourself in a long time- PROUD.

Peace out ya'll!
Hey cupcakes! (you like that? :)

Well yesterday officially marked the end of the I AM WORTH MORE CHALLENGE!

I can't wait to hear how it went for the rest of you who participated but I really feel like I showed the scale who was boss this week- no joke- there were at least 3 times that I was *this* close to looking but I didn't because I realized that it would be defeating the entire purpose of the challenge- to not allow the scale to trump over our success and determination.

For the Project 365 newbies (*hello to all the new followers btw!*) everyone participating in the challenge was to write down the things that they did this week that were evidences of the positive changes they have made in their journey to get healthy and stick them on top of their scale so that at the end of the week they would recognize that it is the small choices we make (and not just a #) that determines whether we have succeeded or not!

Ready to see my post-it note covered scale??????? Well here ya go!!! and a close up....
For me this challenge really wasn't about learning anything specific per se, but more about not allowing the scale to have power over me (whether it be to weigh myself more than once a week or to ruin/make my day the the # it shows me) and I definitely think that was accomplished.

It is my hope that for everyone that participated in this challenge that at your next week's weigh in when you step on the scale, regardless of what # it shows you, that you will see the invisible post-its that you could have put on your scale of the good decisions you have made and not allow the # you are shown to make you overly anything. Celebrate the victories, deal with the disappointments, and no matter what- keep moving forward!

And now onto a not so happy subject- but most def NECESSARY... last Friday I wrote about Failing Forward and about how we need to view our failures as necessary hurdles we must overcome in order for the process of long-term weight loss to work- well last night I definitely made an example of myself!

My friend and I were co-throwing a game night and we made sure that there were lots of healthy snacks (carrots, celery, hummus, apples, salsa, flax seed tortilla chips, my yummy spinach dip, etc.) and because Sunday's are the days I don't track (I still eat exactly the same as the rest of the week, I just take a break from writing it all down and counting calories) and I had already decided to allow the snacks to be my dinner, I was doing really good! Then one of our friends came over who thought we would be serving an actual dinner and not just snacks, was very hungry, and begged us to order pizza. I think you know where this is going... lo and behold by the end of the night I had eaten 2 slices of bacon, chicken, ranch pizza. Errrgh.

On the drive home and when I woke up this morning eating those slices came back to haunt me (both via a grumpy tomach and guilt!); this was the first real time since like my 2nd post that I've done something like this. Let me clarify- I've eaten things that weren't healthy on this journey but never without really thinking about it first, weighing the costs, and making the decision to and adjusting how I'd eat the rest of the day. This was just a "I don't care, I'm not even hungry, but I'm gonna have a slice of pizza" decision. And as soon as the thought about the pizza this morning became a "see, this is just proof that sonner or later you won't be able to maintain this healthy lifestyle," I knew this was an opportunity to jump over a hurdle in my journey and fail forward.

Remember my little formula for jumping over hurdles? Accept, Understand, & Plan? Well, I guess I'll use last night as an example of how this works for me:
* Accept: I accept that last night was a DECISION that I (and only I) made. It doesn't matter that I didn't want to order pizza, I chose to eat it. This wasn't an accident or a slip up, it was a decision. And just like I chose to eat that pizza, I can chose to not do that in the future down this road to success.
* Understand: I know that I need to understand why I ate this pizzza... I think I ate it because... I could. Sometimes I allow the little progress I've made to make me think that I'm at the place where I can do these things- UM HELLO- I still weight over 300lbs! I wasn't thinking, I didn't allow myself to think about anything otherwise I wouldn't have done it. I ate mindlessly- that is the bottom line.
* Plan: In the future, I'm going to follow the rules I've been following- when I see a food that I would like to eat but don't think it's a wise decision I'll remove myself from the situation (go into the other room) and decide if this is a decision I really want to make- 9 times out of 10 I get a grip and move on. I also need to be mindful that just because I've figured out a lot of this journey doesn't mean I'm "home free;" there is no value in learning anything if it is not implemented.

In the end I'm choosing to be thankful that last night happened and I'm viewing it as a necessary lesson and hurdle that had to be jumped- not it is my choice to decide whether I will jump and move past this hurdle or allow it to keep knocking me back down- I'm guessing ya'll know which choice I'm making :)

So- that's one more lesson learned in this long journey- and as always, I'm moving forward, ready to tackle another week!

So how did the challenge go for everyone? I can't wait to see the scale pics on your blogs! If you didn't participate, thanks for reading about the challenge and for all of the encouragement!

I leave you all with a pic that was take at the party last night. The one below it was taken w/ basically some of the same people at another game night in november... see any change?
Last Night: (The sleeves are a bit misleading, they like...fan out!)
and in November... Peace Out Lovelies!
Today I had an epiphany and I am SO excited to share it with you all!!!

A healthy and fit lifestyle. This is what we are all really desiring here right? This is the overall goal. Sure weight-loss may seem like the goal but really, weight loss is just a part of being healthy and being fit; if we are ever going to maintain any substantial weight loss than it will be through staying fit and healthy- these 2 things are really what are goals are about right? Right.

For many of us when we set out on this journey or are in the beginning phases we learn what it means to be healthy and fit and what it will take to get us there. We learn what foods should be avoided and which ones are full of nutrients and should be added to our lives. We set goals, we understand that getting active is a necessary component to success on this journey, and we implement a whole list of new changes into our lives- all for the purpose of becoming more healthy, losing weight, and becoming fit.

And at the same time that we are learning all of these new things and changing we begin to come up against our old habits; we realize that the old cravings don't just go away because we have bought healthy food, we don't suddenly have an extra hour in the day to exercise just because we intend to, and all of the situations, events, and circumstances in our lives don't bow down in submission to the new healthy way of life that we seek. Simply put- it's hard.

Inevitably at the beginning stages of our journey's we run into situation after situation where we "screw up"- we eat wayyy too much food at a party that we hadn't planned on, life get's crazy and we find ourselves not going to the gym for a week, or we find it too hard to silence the voice of our favorite food calling to us from the fridge and we give in- and then we feel like failures. And doesn't it seem that every time one of these circumstances occur and we have totally screwed up that it is just further proof that we will never be able to change- that no matter how many goals we set or how badly we want it- it's not going to happen. Yes, it's easy to feel like that when we've been living below our potential.

But you know what I figured out this morning (aka- the ephiphany)? Every one of those screw ups are ABSOLUTELY 100% NECESSARY to our long-term success. No joke. It's absolutely crazy to think that someone can live 20 or 30 years of their life one way and then all of a sudden completely switch everything about their lives because they made 1 decision.

Like I said, life doesn't just bow down and submit to our goals- we have to navigate through life with our goals being our guide; and if we want our healthy and fit lifestyles to be something that is forever, we've got to learn to overcome those things that will FOREVER be there to try and trip us up. And how on earth can you learn to navigate these things if you never experience them? I am absolutely convinced that the pitfalls that happen to us in these beginning phases (and sometimes middle) are just a part of the process.

I don't know who ever told me that only those who are perfect can succeed at losing weight- but that is surely what I believed and what I'm sure many of you still (even subconsciously) believe. Well I am hear to tell you today that is a BIG FAT LIE. Life comes packed full of social peer pressure eating situations, disappointing scale results, injuries, family craziness, and disappointment and those things should be viewed as GIFTS when encountered on this journey because they are necessary hurdles that have got to be jumped in order to cross the finish line and stay there- and it doesn't matter how many times you have to try to jump over a specific hurdle- as long as you eventually jump it!

I think everyone has a different set of necessary lessons that they've got to learn (and fail from) in order to be successful, but there are lots that are common to us all; some that I've failed in, learned from, and jumped over in this journey so far have been:
- Wanting to eat because I am emotional and stressed.
- Fearing what others may think of me at the gym.
- Social peer pressure eating.
- Learning that a craving is a just a suggestion, not a command.
- Realizing that "cheating" in my food choices is really only cheating myself.
- Not allowing the # on the scale to determine how I feel about myself and how I'm doing.
- Not allowing the craziness of my schedule or circumstances to dictate my health.
- Move past motivation to dedication. I don't wait for goosebumps or surges of motivation to do something anymore.
- Fearing change.

I challenge you to look back at your journey thus far (and even where you are at now) and consider some of the challenges you've faced and the things that you've viewed as moments of failure; now redefine those things in your mind not as weakenesses that are going to come back to knock you on your butt at any moment, but as NECESSARY hurdles that you HAD to encounter in order to move forward. If you haven't been able to jump that hurdle yet, well figure it out! But don't get down on yourself just because you HAVE hurdles- they are NECESSARY!

When I do something that I'm not proud of or that I knew wasn't a step forward- I will do these 3 little steps so that I can jump over the hurdle in the future and not be knocked down by it again:
1) Accept that it was a DECISION I made and not the result of my circumstances, fate, or an accident.
2) Understand why I did it; was I feeling tired, was I just not thinking, did I just not care?
3) Plan for the future. If you continually are getting punched in the face by the same hurdle and you don't put a plan in place in order to jump it successfully in the future, why should you be suprised when the same thing keeps happening over and over again?

Accept- Understand- Plan.

Alright, hopefully I didn't bore you all too much but this was seriously something that I needed to figure out and write down. For those of you who have lost a significant amount of weight (Diane, Cammy, Dawne, etc.) maybe you can share your thoughts on this too! I am just so excited to view these things as I've formerly looked at as failures as necessary hurdles that I've jumped (or am going to jump) over on this road to success.

I leave you with some pics from this weekend:

This was my lunch today. Do you see the BROCCOLI!!?! HAHA- even though this portion is quite laughable, some of you know that this is a major accomplishment for me! No joke- this is the first time in the 4 months I've been on this journey that I have prepared a vegetable with a meal! Snaps to me! The verdict? I put some lemon juice and parmesan on top of them and ... it wasn't too bad. And you must know, me saying that probably means they taste wonderful- I just haven't developed a pallet for veggies just yet, but I'm not giving up! :)

And finally, here is a pic of my sweaty mug after my workout! I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, 15 on the cycle plus, 15 on the hybrid bike, and about 15 minutes of strength training- it was a bum kicker of a workout fo sho!

Alright ya'll make this one great weekend! :)

p.s. I most likely won't be posting tomorrow, it's going to be a very full day but I'll see you all on Monday with a pic of my post-it note covered scale! Can't wait to see your scales as well!!!! :)
Hi loves!

I'm glad that so many of you are enjoying the challenge! I've gotta say that today I was tempted to weigh myself, but I resisted- I want to be able to finish this challenge and say that I really gave it all I had, which includes not looking. One thing that is hard to remember is that the # on the scale is still going to be that # whether we look or not.

And now some bad news- I got laid off from work yesterday. It was a definite surprise but honestly they couldn't have done me a bigger favor; I really just wasn't happy working there and I was already looking for another position. So although this came a bit sooner than I had expected, I am looking forward to what's next.

I can't help but find it a bit ironic though that this was a classic example of the "4th Pitiful Pitfall" that I wrote about last week which cause people to give up on their weight loss goals, which was: when life throws a curve ball.

A few hours after I had been let go I was meeting a friend at Olive Garden for dinner and all I wanted to do was get the cheesiest most carby plate of pasta that I could- I figured that I deserved it b/c of the traumatic and stressful situation I had just encoutered and that somehow I would be getting some sort of revenge. Don't ask me on who- but that's definitely what I felt like doing- that is; however, not what I did. Instead, I ate a healthy meal and the only "splurge" I made was eating 2 breadsticks and 2 of the mini chocolates the waiter brings with your bill.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't put a substantial amount of my self-worth on feeling needed and that the things I do matter- so waking up this morning unemployed definitely wasn't the greatest feeling in the world. Furthermore, thoughts like this were continutally flowing through my mind: "How are you going to be able to afford healthy food? You need to watch your budget now!" and "Things are just too crazy right now, you need to make finding a job your #1 priority and worry about all of this "healthiness" stuff when you've got everything sorted out."

I've always liked this saying: "People are like tea bags, you never know what is inside of them until they are put in hot water."

These last 2 days have proven to me that the changes that I've been noticing in myself aren't just an illusion; they are real and they are forever.

I no longer go to italian restaurants and pig out; not because I "shouldn't," but because that's just not me anymore. I not only want to lose this weight but I need to and I've truly truly truly changed. Circumstances like these would have knocked the old Tiffany right on her butt and back into the McDonald's drive thru- BUT NOT ANYMORE. Today I hit the gym for over an hour of cardio and it felt truly wonderful; excercise has become my stress reliever and a new source of accomplishment.

In the last few days I have leanred what I know is such an important lesson: When circumstances occur that could potentially ruin you, simply view them as an opportunity to demonstrate to yourself your determination to a new way of life.

Now that I have done this very thing I am more assured than ever that I will succeed on this journey. I know I will. Not to say that it doesn't scare the heck out of me- but for the first time I am actually beginning to believe it.

When you're put in the hot water of life, what will the result be?
rafting rahong pangalengan